Thursday, December 24, 2009

KCR Jokes

Here is a collection of jokes doing the rounds, with KCR in the focus.

KCR visits Chandrababu Naidu’s house in Jubilee Hills. Over tea and snacks, he asks Naidu what his leadership philosophy is. Naidu says it is to surround himself with intelligent people. KCR asks how he would know if they are really intelligent.

“I do so by asking them the right questions,” says Naidu. “Allow me to demonstrate.”

KCR watches as Naidu phones Raghavulu and says, “Raghavulu Garu, please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?”

Raghavulu immediately replies, “It's me!”

“Correct. Thank you and goodbye, Raghavulu Garu,” says Naidu. He hangs up and says to KCR, “Did you get that, KCR?”

KCR nods: “Yes. Thanks a lot. I`ll definitely adopt your philosophy.”

KCR goes home and decides to put his son Rama Rao to the test. He summons Rama Rao and says, “Son, your mother has a child, and I have a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

KCR’s son is puzzled and finally asks, “Can I think about it and get back to you?”

He goes back to his room and immediately calls a meeting of the TRS party executive, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, Rama Rao calls his cousin Harish Rao and explains the problem.

“Harish, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Harish answers immediately, “It`s me, of course.”

Much relieved, KCR’s son rushes back to his father and exclaims, “I know the answer! I know who it is! It`s our Harish!”

And KCR replies in disgust, “Wrong, it’s B V Raghavulu!”

* * * * *

A politician dies and goes to heaven. He stands in front of Yama and sees a huge wall of clocks behind him.

“What are all those clocks?”

“Those are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your Lie Clock move."

"Oh. Whose clock is that?"

“That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved."

“And whose is that?”

"That's Abraham Lincoln's. The hands have only moved twice."

"Where's KCR’s clock?”

"It’s in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan.”

* * * * *

KCR runs into the departure lounge of LA International Airport to take a flight to Shamshabad. He jumps the queue at check-in. The officer stops him, “Wait, sir!”

“65 kg," says KCR.

* * * * *

KCR wants to go to Paris and calls up the tourism department to know the time difference between Hyderabad and Paris.

“Could you tell me the time difference between Hyderabad and Paris?”

“One second, sir.”

“Thank you," says KCR and puts the phone down.

* * * * *

After becoming the CM of Telangana, KCR decides to pose for a picture. To show that he is down to earth, he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes, resting his elbows on the hindquarters of a buffalo. The photo appears on the front page the next day with the caption: “Chief minister K Chandrasekhar Rao (third from left)…”

* * * * *

KCR is hosting a Japanese delegation to Telangana. The head of the Japanese delegation says, “Telangana is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan.”

KCR replies, “Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Telangana.”


KCR is in New York and goes to a bar. The man to his left tells the bartender, “Johnnie Walker, single.” And the man to the right says, “Jack Daniels, single.” The bartender looks at KCR., who says: “KCR, married.”

* * * * *

KCR: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.

Son: but I want to choose my own bride.

KCR: The girl is Ambani's daughter.

Son: Well, OK, yes.

KCR next goes to Mukesh Ambani.

KCR: I have a husband for your daughter.

Ambani: But my daughter is too young to marry.

KCR: This young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.

Ambani: "Ah, well, yes.

Finally, KCR goes to the president of the World Bank.

KCR: I have a young man to be recommended as your vice-president.

President: But I have more vice-presidents than I need.

KCR: This young man is Ambani’s son-in-law.

President: Great, yes!


KCR is invited to the USA by the Gujarati NRI Association. The president of the association receives him at the Chicago airport and they get into the car to go to the hotel. They start talking. The NRI begins to say how hectic things have become in the USA.

“Is country mein techonology itni tarakkee ki ki yahan sab log shaadi e-mail se kar lete hain.”

“Telangana mein to log female se shaadi karte hain.”

* * * * *

In the US, KCR meets Barack Obama. Obama says, “Come with me. I want to show you our technological advancement.”

Obama takes him a spot deep in the forest and says, “Dig here.”

KCR digs.

Obama says, “More, more, more...”

KCR digs 50 feet down.

Obama says, “So now, have you find anything?”

KCR says, “I found a wire!”

Obama says, “You see, we used to have telephones 200 years ago.”

KCR then invites Obama to Telangana. KCR takes him to a forest in Nizamabad and says, “Now I want to show you our advancement. Dig here.”

Obama digs 400 feet deep.

“Find anything?”

“There’s nothing here!”

“See, we had wireless 400 years ago.”

* * * * *

KCR goes jogging and accidentally falls into a river. Three boys see him fall and jump in and drag him out of the water. KCR is grateful.

“Boys, you’ve just saved the champion of Telangana. You deserve a reward. Ask for anything you want.”

One boy says, “Golly! I’d like a ticket to Prasad’s Imax.”

“You got it,” says KCR.

“I'd like a pair of Nikes,” says another boy.

“I'll buy them myself and give them to you,” says KCR.

“And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it," says the third boy.

“Son, you're not handicapped.”

“No, but I will be when people find out whom I saved from drowning.”

* * * * *

When KCR was a teenager, his father consulted a fortuneteller to know what his son would grow up to be. The fortuneteller told him give his son a test.

“Put a gun, a wad of notes and a bottle of liquor on a table. Watch what happens. If he picks up the gun, he is likely to be a policeman. If he picks up the money, he will be a thief, and if he picks up the bottle, he will be drunk most of the time.”
KCR’s father did as told and waited for his boy to return from school. When the lad came home, he pocketed both the gun and the money and took a swig of the liquor.
The puzzled father went back to the fortuneteller to ask the meaning of this.
“Your son, is slated to be a politician.”

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Telangana Jokes

The contents of this blog are just for the sake of entertainment and not intended to insult or look down upon anyone in any aspect.

Telangana Jokes

Telangana is a one of the most hilarious dialects which you come across. It is a hybrid form of Telugu which was created by twisting and turning Telugu with loads of foul Urdu and Telugu words. Whenever you want to experience some humorous moments, watch and listen to the Telangana dialect in TV or Movies.

Laughing Moments…

I have read this somewhere in the internet, folks, it is very funny to core,read on....

Bill Gates announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows version in telangana Here are some Windows related terms that are proposed to be used in the telangana version of kitkeel rendvel (Windows2000):

Microsoft windows 2000=ginta anta metha kitkeel rendvel
Search = devulaadu
Save = bachainchu
Save as = gitla bachainchu
Save All = anni bachainch
Help=Nannu bachainch
Find Again=malla ethku
Zoom Out=shinnagachei
Insert= Nadimitla vettu
Backspace=enka jaaga
Print Preview=choosi chapainchu
Paste Special=peshal atki
Double Click=malla malla vothu
Forward=idkelli aadki
Scrollbar=thippudu gottam
Errors=nee notla mannu vada

'This program has performed an illegal operation
*"Abort, Retry or Ignore" ?
" ==== ee karyam dongalekkaku vattindi , jaldi voorku
lekunte malla
leka marshipo
ACCESS =dorkavattu
FOXPRO =nakkalekkal turumkhan
Lotus Notes=thamarpuv paisal
ACCESS DENIED =dorkavattaneeya
Home=intiki vo
For all Errors=nee notla mannu vada

Wedded to the Telangana Cause
KCR is hosting a Japanese delegation to Telangana. The head of the Japanese
delegation says, “Telangana is an excellent state. Give us three years and
we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan.”
KCR replies, “Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Telangana.”

KCR Kcr As Ek Niranjan - Damn Hilarious

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in Telangana

twinkle twinlke little star
how i wonder what u are

Telangana Telugu
merishe merishe shinna sukka
pareshan ayiti ne ninnu sushi

Johnny Johnny Yes papa
Eating Sugar No papa
Telling lies no papa
Open your mouth ha ha ha

Telangana Telugu
Johnny ga oh.. Johnny ga..
Endhi naina Shekkar Bukkinava ra.. ledhu naina
abaddalu adutunnava ra munda koduka
noru teruvara lambidi koduka

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
jack fell down and broke
his crown jill came tumbling down.

Telangana Telugu
jack gaadu jill gaadu konda ku poyinru
gaadi ki poyi neellu testunte jack
gaadu kinda padi
moothi bokkal saap chesu kundu
jill gaadu dil khush toni panduga cheskunnadu